X Rated: Reborn!
by Hydros
Summary: This is NOT my story in origin. The first two chapters and general plot/idea are property of XxPredictablexX. It's been inactive for some time, and I thought it was good enough to continue. Anyway, Red X is caught, and is forced to stay at Titan Tower,whi
1. Coming of Justice

-1As I stood there, both arms caught in the tiny space the window provided on the door of the fucking Titan-Twink Mobile,

I reflected on what a friggen dumbass I was.

There it was- right there in the car, just sitting there!

The mask. My mask.

Of course, the Titans had discovered it from when I had oh-so- nobly lost it, and of course went off to check out the scene. Giving me my chance, of course.

The chance that I screwed over pretty nicely.

So there I stood, going over all of the options of how this could go in my head.

I could yank the windows out, but that would set off the friggen car alarm, which would give me even less time than I already had. If only I could just reach the lock- Well, that wouldn't do any good. Unlocking the damn thing wouldn't get my arms out of here.

I could try pushing the car- wait, huh? Where the fuck would I go?

Dumbass, dumbass, dumbass. Maybe I friggen deserve being caught, for being so stupid and careless. Young and stupid, he recalled the words of his father.

Yup, sounds about right

.

So, instead of plotting an escape like I should've been, I stood there thinking about something cool and witty I could say for when they showed up. I was pretty sure I wouldn't be able to talk myself out of this, anyhow. What was I supposed to say? _Hey, what's up? I'm dressing up as a non-publicly known criminal for Belated Halloween, and I just couldn't help myself at finishing it off with that fabulous mask that I was just about to jack from your car? _Nah, he would rather go to jail than try to pull that dandy of a lie off.

His thoughts were rudely interrupted as he heard a blunt cough coming from right behind him. He twisted over from his current position to look, and of course, as fate would have it.

"Holy shit, Batman! It's the Boy-Friggen-Blunder!"

I couldn't help but grin behind my curtain of hair as I saw his eye twitch in annoyance.

"Red X?"

"No, it's your mom. Dumbass."

Robin twitched once more. He's a very twitchy guy, I concluded. Kinda like a squirrel, or a chipmunk.

Robin smirked slightly after, most likely at me being dumb enough to be caught. "Stuck, huh?"

"Thanks for noticing."

He stood back for a moment, gawking at me, and I could tell what he was thinking? Psh, look at silly Red X, with his mask off. That emo kid. Damnit, I may have a bit of the black-swoopy-hair-eyeliner thing going on, but that was only because I was trying to find my true identity! Ah well, it gave my shocking bright blue eyes the creepy effect, which was fun to use. And of course, everyone knows how gorgeous I am.

A rather vampire-like smile spread across my pierced lip as I looked over at him. "See something you like, sweetheart?" Don't laugh. Don't laugh. It'll only make you look like a lamer if you laugh at your own comment.

"Yeah. I see the coming of justice."

I snorted. Pf. And I was worried about being lame?

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"I saw the coming of your mom last night. Oh yeah, let that one sink in!"

Robin did that twitchy thing again, and walked over, starting to saw the window off with some kind of gadget. "Well, you'll be glad to know that I'm not taking you to jail. Yet."

It honestly didn't concern me much. I would be gone by the time any of the others got back, but of course, I didn't voice this aloud.

"I've decided to make you stay at the Titan Tower. I have a feeling that there's more to you than I've figured out."

"It only took me two seconds to figure you out. Gay-In-A-Hand-basket-Of-Justice."

I did consider this, though.

A chance to make all of their lives a living hell, from the safety of their home? Well, that sounded fun, and quite lately, to be honest, I was pretty friggen bored. And quiet honestly, what better way for revenge than slowly peeling away the sanity of the mind?

I grinned manically, and Robin raised an eyebrow at me as he sawed away the last of the window.

This was defiantly going to be fun.


	2. The Rules?

-1"Now that your staying in the tower for a while, X, I'll have you know that there are a few rules that go with it."

"I want a llama."

"Didn't you say your name was Spencer?"

"You should know. Your mom was screaming it allll niight loooonnggggggggg."

"I highly doubt it."

"You don't have to believe it. Just as long as the possibility of me being your bona-fide father doesn't scare you."

Robin blinked, and I couldn't exactly tell whether he actually seriously thought about it or not.

Haha, dumbass.

"As I was saying..."

Maybe Robin didn't have a twitching problem. Maybe he just had little mini seizures all of the time. Kinda like that one guy I met that one time, in this one place.

"What do llamas eat, anyway? Straw?"

Robin glared at being interrupted again. Gawd, be could be a bitch sometimes.

"No touching things that aren't supposed to be touched."

I swear to fucking god, he's just setting himself up for these!

"No going into places that you aren't supposed to go."

...

"And just in case you ever run into any trouble, make sure you carry protection at all times."

I choked up with laughter, which of course earned me looks from the circle of pubescent heroes, but fucking seriously! Could all of them really be that stupid? I guess nobody ever lets heroes in on the whole birds and bees thing, somebody needs to throw them a friggen limb out there.

Might as well be me.

"Hey, guess what."

All of them looked at me, of course.

"Vagina."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Now, _this_ is a Kodak moment.

"Robin..." I heard Starfire ask, in that dumbshit tone of voice. "What is this..._vagina_...that Red X speaks of?"

What the fuck? What the hell is it called in that fucking universe?

"Yeah, Robin," I egged on, highly amused and ready for how Boy Blunder would dig himself out of this one. "What is this...this vagina? A state or something?"

Robin shot that glare at me, the same exact glare that I see him give Slade.

Pf, Slade. Another creeper in the book right there.

Robin turned a bright red as Starfire continued to stare at Robin innocently. Well, with her outfit, you think she'd be used to conversations like these!

"I...uhhhh...I have to go train!"

Wow, I don't think I've ever seen him run so fast in my life.

I thought it was pretty great, how they could stare death in a face,

but Robin runs away at even the word vagina.

Yup, I confirmed to myself,

He's totally gay.


	3. Chickens and Power Rangers?

-1

"You'll be staying here." Well, this looks comfy.

A white-framed bed in a room with steel walls.

"I like what you've done with the place." I said dryly.

"It's a guest room. We don't exactly taker time to decorate them. Get in and make yourself comfortable." He's funny when he's mad. Particularly when it involve Starfire.

Must be peeved over the vagina deal.

"Sir yes sir!" I saluted. He scowled, and I grinned as I headed into the room. He _really _needs to loosen up.

I noted that he had chosen the guest room directly across from his own for me. Said it was for "security purposes." Might as well make the most of it.

"Theeeeyy'vvveeee got, a power and a force that you've never seen before!" I began to sing the Power Rangers song, making the accompanying guitar noises.

"Theeeeeeeyyyyyy've got, the ability to morph and to even up theeeee SCORE!" I continued. I grinned at the sound of Robin growling. Throw me in an asylum room, will you?

"Noooooooo onnnnneeeeeee, can ever take them DOWN!" More air guitar riffs. "The power lies on their, SI-I-I-I-I-IDE!!" Finally the door flew open. Robin was _pissed_.

"Red X, I'm going to give you one warning: if you keep singing like that, Raven will _kill _you. She hates that show, and she also hates not getting her rest." Raven hated Power Rangers? More dirt for me to use.

"Aw, ok." I gave him a grin that completely contradicted my words. He went to slam the door shut , and I made a noise. He turned around, expecting words.

"Hey, Robin?"

"What?"

"I want Starfire to tell me a bedtime story."

_SLAM_.

I grinned.

I woke up to the sound of a door being wrenched open. Shaking my head vigorously to de-grog myself, I saw Raven in the door, with that same monotone, can't-tell-if-she's-pissed-or-not face.

"Breaktfast," She told me plainly. I nodded and followed her out of the room.

"So, what's on the menu? Rack of lamb?" I made a not-so-subtle gestured at Starfire that didn't go unnoticed by Robin. His face looked like he'd eaten a sour jalapeno pepper.

"Bacon and eggs," Cyborg replied. How do these people miss such obvious jokes?

"Ah. Is that what the Tamaranian culture calls it?" THAT one was unmistakable, superheroes or not. Well, save one.

"We do not have the slices of pig or aborted children of chicken on my planet," I couldn't help it. How the hell has she been on this planet this long and not known how the hell so say "Bacon and eggs"? Much less be this clueless about my meaning.

I guess Robin decided he should put an end to the festivities. Tight-ass.

"That's enough, X. Stop making innuendos and eat." I continued to chuckle as Cyborg flipped an egg in the air. Hmm…

Wonder what'll happen if I do this? I reached over and grabbed Raven by the little red thingy on her cloak. Before she could do anything but yelp, I kissed her deep on the mouth, causing the entire carton of eggs to explode on to Cyborg.

This was priceless. Robin's mouth gaping in utter shock and horror.

Starfire's confused retard expression.

Beast Boy's hissy fit because I kissed the girl he doesn't have the green balls to admit his feelings to.

Cyborg, covered in glowing black egg yolk.

And Raven, eyes beginning to burn as she computed the series of events that unfolded.

WHACK!

Raven sent me flying across the room, and the only reason I survived (which to be honest I was not planning on) was because Robin AND Beast Boy AND Starfire tackled her before she could reach me.

"Let me GO!" This was great. The Titans were piled up on top of each other, Cyborg was still trying to wipe "aborted chickens" out of his circuits, and it was all due to my bravery (and probably stupidity).

"X, go to your room." Since when did Robin become my father?

"Yes, _Dad_." I shook my head, chuckling the entire time as I watched Raven squirm under the weight of the others.

"Oh, and guys?" I stopped. Everyone stopped momentarily.

"Nice orgy," I commented before casually sauntering out of the room. And from behind…

"Please, what is an 'orgy'?"


	4. What's a Whore?

-1

"Why do you _insist _on being so annoying?" Robin was already tired of me, and I hadn't even been in the Tower for 24 hours. Chalk one up for me.

"I don't insist upon anything, Zorro. Maybe if you'd get me that llama I'll be a little nicer." I wonder how far I can take this llama joke.

Robin narrowed his eyes, or at least what I could see of them (which is nothing). "You want to be like this, fine, but it's your funeral when it comes to Raven. Now, I believe you owe her an apology." I raised an eyebrow.

"Your mom owes me an apology, but I don't see that happening." He just keeps walking into these things! I grinned.

"Alright, fine. I'll go talk to Miss Congeniality." This ought to be interesting and possibly suicidal.

Well, that's to the point. A big frickin door with the word "Raven" on the front. Wonder who's room this is? Hmm…

Getting into their garage is way too easy. It took me about five seconds to find spray paint. I smirked as I ran back up to Raven's door, armed and ready. When I was done, the door said "Raven: Do not wash with water." I grinned at my handiwork and knocked on the freshly overhauled door.

"Who-" Raven stopped cold as she saw my face. "You had better have a damn good reason for showing your face around me." Damn, testy much?

"Whoa, easy baby cakes." Wrong thing to say.

WHAP!

"Never. Call. Me. Baby cakes." Sheesh.

"Hey, lighten up. I was actually coming up here to apologize." Why do women always have to be so difficult? They can't take a simple sentence straight without looking at it from fifty different definitions.

She narrowed her eyes. "Fine. Apology accepted. Wait." Well, so much for hit and run. I turned back around, eyebrow raised.

"If you _really _want to make it up to me, I have one small request."

Oh, shit. She's got her "muahahah" face on. Crap.

"That is…?"

"I want you to go and deliver this to Beast Boy's room. Don't look inside it, because I'll know and I'll kill you. Don't let him see you do it, either. You do that, I'll forgive you."

What am I, the UPS?

"Fine." Whatever.

She handed me a wooden box.

I shrugged and walked away, ever so curious as to the contents of the box. Then a thought struck me.

If she wanted to give the little green guy something, she'd have the guts to simply go up to him and shove it at him. So… I grinned.

I approached Beast Boy's room. Bending down, I carefully set the box at the door. Whatever was in the box _had _to be sensitive information.. "How the heck's she gonna know if I looked, anyway?" I wondered aloud.

I'll take my chances.

Lifting the lid, a piece of paper lay on the bottom. She needed a box for this?

"Beast Boy, we need to talk. Pizza, tomorrow?" I read. I smirked, and opportunity knocked.

Ripping the paper in half, I grabbed a pen from my pocket. Why I had a pen in my pocket, I have no clue. I don't question these things.

On the blank paper, I wrote, "Beast Boy, I'm sorry, but ever since Spencer got here I've just…well… I think I'm in love. I'm so sorry."

I forged her name and placed the paper back into the box. Laughing, I walked back to Raven's room.

"Alright, the box is right in front of his door," I said.

Raven narrowed her eyes, judged, and finally nodded. "Alright, you're forgiven. Don't do it again," She warned before turning her back on me and closing her door.

This should be fun.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Come on… it's been an hour… I was anticipating what would become of my little switch. It took a friggin' hour and a half before Beast Boy received and read the damn thing. I heard him gasp, loudly, and I laughed.

I stealthily made my way to Raven's room, and hid a few feet away as Beast Boy rushed forward. He actually flung the door open, turning into a gorilla to do so. He was PISSED.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Raven yelled.

"I could ask you the same!" I shook with mirth as he pointed to the note.

"I…was just scared… I couldn't say it to your face…" She mumbled. He was still enraged.

"Oh, I get it. I don't even deserve to get an actual explanation. I just get this shoved in my face? Fine. You can take your feelings and shove it."

My jaw fell. Okay, this was going a bit far. I wasn't counting on Beast Boy going Rambo on her. Normally this would be reversed.

Oh, shit. Raven's starting to cry. I sighed and emerged from hiding. "Beast Boy, calm the fuck down." Jeez. And I thought Robin was bitchy.

In hindsight, as I'm laying here in the medical bay writing this, it was probably not a good idea to reveal myself in his presence without bringing support.

I wound up getting punched in the face by a gorilla, slashed on my left arm by a tiger, got my right leg almost bit off by a fucking raptor, my scalp abused by a peregrine falcon, and various other general beatings from his fucking zoo arsenal before Raven could stop him.

They need to piss him off like that when he's fighting real crime.

You know, for being a superhero, Robin can be a real dick. Pun intended. Like now, for instance. He knows that, despite Raven's healing, I was definitely in pain. Yet he was still struggling to keep a straight face.

"Laugh it up, Chuckles." Annoying bastard.

"What the hell did you do?" Robin asked me.

"Ask Raven." I was SO not going to recount the stupidity of my own actions and therefore embarrass myself.

He left the room. And came back moments later, not bothering to hide his obvious mirth.

"Wow," Was all the jackass could manage out. I sighed., and he left once more. Good riddance.

Never mind, here comes the current bane of my existence.

Raven. Oh. Shit. Her face no longer has the "muahaha" look. It now has the "enjoy your last few breaths" look. I, unfortunately, was unable to do anything about the current situation.

"All you had to do was deliver one simple note. Why the HELL did you replace it?" Okay, this is weird. She's not physically abusing me. I raised an eyebrow.

"Because I'm not a UPS delivery boy?"

"Well… You _did _make an excellent example of how much I apparently meant to Gar… I suppose I can forgive you anyway," She said with a smirk.

"Fine." Whatever. I wasn't dead, and I wasn't quite eager to egg her on to kill me. I'm way too handsome to go out so early.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Well, Raven sure does have magic hands. Literally. I'm completely healed now. Hmmm… I already messed with Raven, and got Mr. Zoo in the process. Ah, I know!

"Hey there, cutie," I said as I sauntered past Starfire to the fridge. She frowned.

"I would prefer you call me by my name, Red X," She said.

"Uh, ok. Well, Starfire, I just saw this really neat word in you guys' computer dictionary." Am I evil?

"And that is?" She said skeptically.

"Whore. Apparently, it means 'good friend'." Yes, I am.

She cocked her head. "I have never heard this word before. Interesting," She said. With that, she turned back to a blue…something. Something that was thrashing. Something with a face. Something that she had just brought a knife down on, cutting it deftly in half.

"Ooookay…" I muttered as I left with a slice of pizza.

It was later that night when the fruits of my labor paid off. Everyone was going to bed, and consequently saying their good-nights.

Then I heard it. "Good night, whore!" I choked, turning around to see who she had spoken too. My lip quivered.

She had just called Raven a whore.

I should be running right now, because Starfire is undoubtedly going to nark on me. Raven's eyes were slits.

"_What did you just call me_?!" She hissed. Everyone else was wide-eyed, so I tried to do the same.

"Did you not hear? Or do you just not know the word?" Innocent as ever. Oh, the amusement.

"Oh, I know what it means. I'd like to know why the HELL you called me a whore!" Raven fumed. Starfire got that dumbass look on her face. All these years on Earth, and she still couldn't tell when someone was bullshitting her.

"Well… you are my whore, yes?" Oh, wow. I managed to turn the laugh that escaped into a cough, causing Robin to shoot a glance at me. Does he suspect?

This is rather amusing, really. Raven's face, plastered with shock. And Starfire's, way too fucking innocent.

Raven finally found her voice. "…No. I am _no one's_ whore," She said vehemently.

Surprisingly, it was not Robin that spoke up. "Okay, Starfire, what exactly is your definition of 'whore'?" Oh, come on. As if Zoo-boy hasn't humiliated me enough today?

"A whore is someone who is a very good friend, is it not?" You know, this would be funnier with a video camera.

"She's not far off the mark," I commented. And amazingly, I heard a snort of…was that… laughter? From Raven? I shot a look over, and I could tell that her face was attempting to give her away,

I grinned and gave her a wink. She tried to scowl, but couldn't. I love it.

"…No. Starfire, a whore is someone who sells him or herself out for sexual purposes in exchange for other things, usually money," Robin clarified, glaring at me. Oh yeah, he knows.

Well, this is my cue to run like hell. Which I did.

Shit, Raven's on my tail. RUN!

Yes! My room! I'm in!

And so is she! Shit!

Raven smirked, and I frowned. "Fine, you win. But for the record, I'm too young to die. By the way, I always wanted a llama." Why not use the llama joke one last time?

She raised an eyebrow. "A llama?"

"First thing I thought of."

"…"

"Hey, I think it's funny."

She shook her head and perked her ears. "Starfire's coming," She stated simply.

"So which one of you gets to kill me? Or do you just each take a half and rip me apart? I'd like to know the death process here."

She rolled her eyes and rose her hand. But not at me. At the door, which glowed black just in time to stop it from caving into the force of a Tamaranian punch. Now it was my eyebrows that elevated.

She turned around. "She'll give up in a bit," She said, sitting down.

Okay, this is weirder than the time I tried to pickpocket the offerings at a Easter church service by disguising myself as the Easter bunny. Which didn't turn out so hot, by the way.

Trust me, it's embarrassing when you're bunny arms are handcuffed and they're trying to stuff your big-eared ass into a squad car.

Ah, fond memories.

"So… care to explain?" I asked.

"Yeah. I appreciate a decent prank when I see one," She replied. I laughed.

"So that's why Mr. Zoo isn't pushing daisies?"

"Precisely."

And I thought I was nuts.


End file.
